My mind works different than my wife’s. She hears the beat; I hear the lyrics. I think that songs and music are powerful and fuel your soul, and that the lyrics and even the emotion of the artist affect you in some way. Another odd reality of my brain is that it plays with the meanings of words, so I don’t just hear the words; I hear the raw literal translation. This makes songs with weak lyrics grate on the core of my being, and of course I have to air my frustration with my kids. So the meanings of songs is a common conversation that I have with my daughters.
I am rather proud of Xandra at the moment, because she has ruined this song for all of her friends. Her friends will be walking in the halls of her school singing, “Stay With Me”, and turn to her with dreamy eyes and say, “I love this song, its so sweet.” And Xandra will reply, “Why?!? Its awful!”, which produces stunned and confused looks.
Because she is my daughter and because we have talked about this a bit, she will then explain, “Listen to the words… let me paraphrase it for you.” “I don’t love you. You don’t love me. But I’m a man who has ‘needs’, and so you should lay with me.” Then she will show them the actual lyrics:
Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love ’cause I’m just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don’t want you to leave, will you hold my hand?
Oh, won’t you stay with me?
‘Cause you’re all I need
This ain’t love it’s clear to see
But darling, stay with me
Why am I so emotional?
No it’s not a good look, gain some self control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt
To all the young women out there trying to figure out the world, let me say something to you. You are worth more! You deserve to be loved! A real man’s greatest need is to receive respect and have honor. Sex and intimacy is not a need or a right, and no real man will ever make you feel like you are indebted to share those.
And don’t sing along with songs that suck!